Barely scratches the surface...

I've been meaning to post about this topic for a while, in fact since the beginning of Senior year, but now feels like an even better time for it.

Recently, in fact it was yesterday, Ruben mentioned something about Facebook. The average amount of friends on Facebook is apparently 150-ish. Not THAT insane I guess. But we pull more random information out of Ruben. Of all the friends that we have on Facebook, we probably only communicate with maybe 25, on a consistent basis. Now by communicate, I don't mean the textbook or dictionary definition of communicate. I mean the Facebook definition of communicate. You know, the occasional notification here or there. A wall post counts, or maybe a graffiti drawing. Or the infamous poke. We probably only communicate with 20ish people on Facebook. Lines like, "Hey we should hang out some time during the break," or "Happy Birthday! Make it good! You're now --, older than me!" Yeah, that's my definition of Facebook-communication. Now Ruben pulls out more random information. The human brain has the capacity to establish and maintain about 100ish[?] decent social relationships. That means people you would actually talk to outside of Facebook and stuff. Actually hang out with, actually have a conversation with, etc. You know, actual people you would consider good friends. People you confide in and all that sappy stuff. And our response to Ruben's "snapple fact" [for a lack of a better term], "I think that's actually too much. I was thinking only like 20 people." Yeah, so my point, to sum up this paragraph? Out of my 435 friends on Facebook, and the probable 30ish people I communicate with on Facebook, I feel like there are only a handful of people I REALLY hang out with and talk.

Anyways, the point of my post? I realize how small I am. I see CLP people once a week, and I hang out with CLPers more than I do with most Stuy kids that I know, and I see those Stuy kids 5 days a week. Blah. So those handful of people I mentioned previously? CLPers fall under that. But now the question remains is who out there actually considers me to be part of THEIR handful? And back to my statement, I realize how small I am. I'm sure most CLPers have lives outside of their Sunday group. Their handfuls are probably consisted of Mr. Monday-Friday and Ms. Second Period Math Class Buddy. Now I go by a lot of nicknames, but unfortunately Mr. Monday-Friday isn't one of them, nor is Ms. Second Period Math Class Buddy either.

So who really considers me to be part of their handful?

Maybe I've traveled down a very unfortunate road. Maybe I "overextended" myself here. I have 435 relationships, 30ish of these bonds I reinforce occasionally with a Facebook notification, which means 405ish of these bonds are merely "Hey I'm in your class, let's be friends so I've got a higher friend count on Facebook." Maybe I should've been one of those quiet kids in school. You know, the quiet kid that's only got 30 friends on Facebook, but all 30 of those kids are his best friends. All 30 of those kids are his handful. Sure he's got less friends than Mr. 435, but he's better friends with his friends then Mr. 435 is with his.

So I started thinking about college a bit. When college rolls around my handful will probably become half a handful. Now 435 might be 285 more than the average 150-friends-Facebook-user, but I'm thinking about the people I DON'T know now. The people I DIDN'T get to know well enough to friend on Facebook. The people I never had a class with in Stuy, but I still know the name of. For all I know, they probably think I don't exist, but I know their name. Now I probably could've been best friends with that kid, or she could've been in my handful...if I only got to know her. Point is, I can't tell if I don't know enough people, or if I know too many people.
The friendships that are, the friendships that could have been, and the friendships that never will be...

So let me finish this post. I feel like someone out there, maybe SOMEONE in my 435, or someone in my handful, or someone I don't even know yet, is my inspiration. Someone out there will inspire me and motivate me. Someone out there will push this button and I'll suddenly be a new person. I'll be the next revoluntionary figure and be remembered forever. I'll be read about in history books, and this post will be published, photocopied and handed out in classrooms.

So be part of my handful. Be my inspiration, and maybe I'll be yours.

P.S.
By the way, random fact, there are so many ants in the world, that together, they weigh the same as all the people in the world. Now if I were an ant, I'd have a lot more trouble finding that inspirational figure. More incentive for me to start looking. Hey at least I'm not an ant...

P.P.S.
I realize I write WAY too much...