or
Tell us why you're interested 400 words or less.or
Tell us what impact you would have in our community 300 words or less.Essentially, what they mean to say is, put yourself to paper. [16, 17] years young, and they want us to put ourselves to paper. Every skinned knee you've ever had, every and anything that you have eaten before, every single word you've written, and every lesson you've learned, put it to paper. Oh, by the way, try and limit it to 500 words or less. Preferably less.
So you sit behind a computer screen. The bags under your eyes, heavy, but your eyelids, heavier. Nothing but the light of the screen to light up your keyboard. But you don't need to look down at the keyboard anymore, that's for amateurs. You know your way around the keyboard already. Caffeine induced or caffeine overdosed, you can't tell which state you're in, but for the next month or so, caffeine is your elixir. You start to type a few words. Then a few sentences. Then a paragraph. Reread it. Ctrl A, delete.
And you finally can't take it anymore. You roll the computer chair back and yell at the computer screen, hoping somehow your frustration is translated into some binary code, and your computer feels sympathy for you, creating the best written essay anyone has ever seen or read. Words of wisdom, inspiration, motivation. Words that would have the power to convince people to drive hybrids, to donate money, to battle hunger. They'd idolize you, put you up on the wall with a portrait of you with your best smile. Even if it wasn't your best smile, the air brushing and the shadows compliment your pearly white teeth. And even if your teeth weren't pearly white, no one would dare laugh at you, because they've renamed the whole institution after you.
And with the blink of an eye, or the reverse of the blink of an eye [the opening of an eye?] it all fades to black. Just a dream. A lovely dream. And you wonder why you even put up with this all. Why even bother going through this process ten times over, each time with a slight tweak or variation. 500 words. No, this time 400 words, and tell us about your family too. 600 words, and tell us about your favorite subject. 300 words, and we want you to gush about us, tell us how great we are, and how we decide your next salary for the rest of your life, not to mention your next four years. Oh and while you're typing this 300 word essay, we want you to balance on a unicycle with a pitcher of water on your head, while saying three times fast, "She sell seashells by the seashore." And if we didn't mention the optional part, which isn't actually optional, we just say optional to sift out all the applicants that aren't devoted, we would like you to rub counterclockwise with one hand, and pat your head with the other hand. How do you pat your head if there is a pitcher on your head? Not our concern. How do you write the essay if you don't have a free hand? Should've been more well equipped for this task...maybe you're not that 'well suited for us afterall. But back to where we were...why do we do it? Because of our parents. A six figure salary is okay..." they start, "but if you were providing for you, your spouse, and your two kids. Don't you want Mommy and Daddy to be happy? We want to live in a big house too! And what about your Grandparents? And your fourteenth cousin twice removed? Have you forgot about him? So yes, it's okay if you make a six figure salary, we'll just rot in the streets while you live happily ever after for a short while. But just know we sacrificed days and years so we could pay tuition for your private tutoring."
So it's you against everyone else. Everyone meaning them. Those folks reading your essay and your parents and your grandparents and your fourteenth cousin twice removed and every single thing out there that says no to you.
But forget about "you." I've spent this whole essay replacing the word I with the word "you." The hypothetical "you" who is actually NOT in this ridiculously absurd position. So back to me, I've got 12 more applications to go through. And THIS whole essay has totally gone over the 500 word maximum, so it'll end here.
